Improbable Drift

Improbable Drift



I am a wraith.
Insubstantial, inculpable, insoluble,
Inconvenienced, and insincere.
I drift,
Into and out of circumstances
That waft by me
Like a dream mere in a blizzard of chaos.
Untouched, but touchable,
Unloved, but loveable,
Still I find myself
Wanting what isn’t there
And dreaming improbabilities.
She has the bundle of joy,
Yet joy eludes her;
I had the hope (and faith), but life
Stole it from me in a rush of unwise
And highly mystical ghostly death-burn.
Heart afire became
Heart on fire
Became burning husk within my chest cavity.
Still I find that I can
Smile,
Here in my death,
Because occasionally I can see beyond the mists
To something that still lives, still
Beats, still hopes and has feet.
It shouldn’t live, but
Today,
Today it lives,
Despite the very objections
Of reality.
Here in my dream,
Swaying in the improbable drift,
Still able to think decent thoughts about you,
Unlikely that it is that you will ever know…
Or care.
Still,
In my own way,
I love you.
Whether you know it or not,
Today,
Today my love for you
Makes me live just a little bit.


August 22, 2009