Square Me In A Round Hole

Square Me In A Round Hole



There’s a hope in my pocket
But do not tell no one,
I put it there last year
But what I got is none
Of the return for my investment,
So it sits there still,
But now it’s faded
Its colours are jaded
And I find it gives no thrill.

There’s a hole in my heart
And everything is leaking,
You can see right inside
But there is to be no peeking.

There’s a home in my mind
And my future rests on it,
With a warm and roaring fire
And in front of it she sits;
I cannot touch her yet
Or invade her space,
Yet I can see her sitting there, with me,
But I cannot see her face.
And if not for the faded, jaded hope
That in my pocket rusts,
And the hole in my heart
Where the blood congeals and crusts,
Then maybe I would truly be happy
And have such great belief,
Instead
I am just me.
Take me, or leave me -
Just me.




August 3, 2009

Stage-Dive Of Life

Stage-Dive Of Life



The lights are low,
The curtain poised,
And still the actor won’t complete
His last gasping line;
It’s the death scene that lasts an eternity,
And this is the scene my heart has
Been replaying
For oh so very long,
When the stagehands have quit
And the director’s gone home,
It’s so hard to breathe and stay strong.
Choked,
Sputtering and guttering,
Teetering on the edge of a stage so sharp,
Realizing
That she is gone,
Long gone, and I am
Sitting here in the spotlight, alone.
My grand soliloquy,
My theatrical debut,
Got screwed to death, by you.

I see now, finally
I begin to see
(Why did you use me?) What you never wanted
Me to see,
What you hid from me.
There was never really an “us”
For you,
There was always just “you”
And that is all you wanted,
But you still trod me under your feet anyway.
You took from me everything I could give,
Everything I wanted to give (and chose to give),
And then you acted around me,
You used your skills to act the part
That gave you the most perverse pleasure.
You wanted the spotlight,
But when you found out that I was willing to
Give more than you were, that I was
Capable of giving more to my performance than you were,
Then stealing back the spotlight and putting
It on yourself
Became your goal;
Like a lazy and conceited understudy,
You killed the star so you could have your
Five seconds of fame.

Now, I am left here,
On a darkened stage,
Afraid to leave,
Waiting for somebody to feed me a line that
I can actually use,
Unwilling to utter
The final gasp
(To you I throw my hands out, and I grasp
For life, for worth, for breath)
That seals the fate
Of this has-been actor
On the stage of misery
That you built for me
And left me alone upon.

Thanks for the memories.
Thanks a lot.
You, you are
Never
Never ever coming back...
Are you...


(Happy almost birthday.
Hopefully, you get better than you gave.)




August 3rd, 2009