CK Cat

CK Cat



Curiosity;
The cat killed by love.
You are the love,
You are the cat,
You are my curiosity
And I am death forever.



August 11th, 2009

Fracturing The Psyche of Nothing

Fracturing The Psyche of Nothing




If you hurt,
Then you live.
Pain
Is nature’s way
Of letting you know you are
Alive.
You must survive
To feel hurt.
Dead men tell no tales
Because dead men feel no pleasure,
No pain,
No sun and no rain.

If I hurt,
Then I live.
Because I live,
I will hurt.
It is the cycle of those
Who know and who lose
Love.
To love,
You must die inside,
Surrender to the eventual pain,
And thus, live.

She came,
She left,
First I laughed but
Since then I’ve wept.
Tears in a bottle,
Bottle to my lips,
Lips cry out to the heavens,
And the heavens fall silent on me.
So it is,
And so it must be;
I must live through the pain
To be free.
I hurt,
Therefore I know that I am still alive,
No matter how much removed
From life I feel,
No matter how I wish I were dead
To escape the never-ending pain
That lets me know that I still live.



August 11th, 2009

Drawing Me Out

Drawing Me Out



Paper tiger,
All I feel like is a
Paper tiger,
I roar but I have no bite,
I put on my strong face
But I’m scared;
Scared of loneliness,
Scared of defeat,
Scared of trying,
And mainly scared of me.
I am scared to discover who I am
Because I fear I may like me
Even less
Than I do now.
It’s silly, I know,
But I have no eraser for my fears,
So all I can do is
Draw a tiger over them
On my sheet of graduated sanity
That is my life.
I am a paper tiger
And that, for now, will have to be alright.

I say I am okay,
I pretend I am alright,
But I am a broken compass
Lost into this night.
I try to make believe
That I am somebody I want to be,
I need to be,
I try to show some strength,
To remind myself that deep within
There is some strongness in me,
Even though I do not always feel it;
Sometimes, I succeed for a time,
But always what happens
Is she (the mistress bitch)
She bites me from behind,
And now I have to sit down alone
To hide this paper cut from which I can’t atone.

I am a paper tiger,
I roar but have no bite,
I am a paper tiger,
And that,
For now,
Just has to be alright.
It is all that I have right now,
So that has got to be alright...
Paper tiger,
Paper tiger is me.
-----Draw me, I roar.
-----Fold me, I cry.
-----Colour me weary,
-----Paper tiger am I.



August 10th 2009

Haphazard Way of Life of The Self Hater

Haphazard Way of Life of The Self Hater




Hard to knock what one can’t find
Actions are louder than words so unkind
Pedestal envy is a torment sublime
Hate the beat when the music is out of time
Alien foliage in torrential rains
Zoological studies and new flu strains
Aspirin magic and succubus kisses
Radio to Santa and tell him my wishes
Derailing the efforts of the weakest of minds.

Washing away the details that you don’t desire
Aching to see why most climb higher
You just can’t get what you don’t reach for.

Oh the joys anew of seeing yourself true
Forever trusting in what fiercely strangles you.

Lacking restraint, you chain yourself
Itching to free the demons within
Fleeing the crime-scene, you drop the victim
Ending the hunt, you spare the witnesses.

Oh the aches and pains of looking at you
For I reach up and I choke the life from you.

Testosterone is a pheromone that cancels out your actions
Healthy ways of living are not to your satisfaction
Everyone for themselves when the boat hits the reef once again.

Sorry for my indifference but nothing really matters
Each tick of the clock is a lifetime mirror shattered
Leave me to my thoughts and give me what you ask
Forever taking breathers when I cannot do the task.

Hasp of the lock is tied to my inner me
At the gates wait the enemy that I can’t see
Terrible the swift sword and greater is the night
Especially the one that takes from me the softest inner light
Rest my love until the poison takes my sight.

So is the doom that comes much later,
Haphazard Way Of Life Of The Self Hater.



August 10th, 2009

Care And The Poison In My Heart (Heat That Burns Me)

Care And The Poison In My Heart (Heat That Burns Me)



She had the baby
And I don’t care.
I shouldn’t care.
I don’t want her, she
Is poison to me.
The hurtful truth.
Oil and water.
A baby girl, last week.
Neither of them are mine.
My mind, my life, are
Now my own.
I shouldn’t care,
And I try hard not to.
Life is hard, but
Life is mine to live,
Free of the influence of
Those who hurt me.
She was sweet heat,
And now
She is the heat that burns me.
Good luck; goodbye.
I’ll see you in heaven.




August 10th, 2009